It's Always Sunny In Portland

Coming up on my last day in Portland and I'm happy to report it has not rained once. But they are calling for rain for the rest of the week. When are people going to realize that this is not just a coincidence. People have been blaming global warming but maybe it's me. When I was in Germany in January everyone thought it was so weird that there was no snow, I leave, snow. Same for Scotland, snow was no where to be found. Weather is scared of me. Weather is smart.
I did many things while here: I ran 20 miles (not all in a row), Went to a Breast Cancer lunch and saw my sister stand with people while she gave them giant fake checks, received the anointing of the sick in a brewery, Went to a wedding, danced at said wedding reception and by far was the best dancer ever, Ate asparagus with Robert, saw Canadian Geese and was mistaken for a goslings mother for a good two minutes, ate, drank, worked and used the facilities in the wilderness of Washington, made a visit to the Mac store and enjoyed tax free Oregon, performed comedy and defended my title of favorite aunt Poopie.

Watch My Chin

You Give Me Fever

Yesterday and today I just couldn't understand why I was so tired and then I found out I have a 102 fever....no wonder!
Now that I know it's a fever and not because I am losing my superhuman powers I feel much better. I hope my show tonight is not impeded by my condition, at least I'll think I'm funny...do you see the little elephants as well, or is it the fever?

Padres and Madres

The best part of going to a Padre game is sitting close enough that when you sneeze, a Giles brother says, "God bless you".

It's Never As Good As You Remember

My mom has discovered Netflix.
And I have discovered mom's password and how to move the movies that I want to see up in the queue. So when mom thinks "Under the Tuscan Sun" is coming she gets a surprise when Disney's "Snowball Express" rocks her mailbox.

"Snowball Express" was hands down my favorite movie for a brief few months in the 80's.

But 20 years later as I watched it again I discovered something, "Snowball Express" was a stupid movie.

Sure Colonel Potter was in it, but he can only carry a film for so long.

So what else from my childhood was dumb?

Well...

Definitely not the Muppet Show, that was cool...my dolphin shorts were cool at the time but I could not pull that look off today. I think my love of Fruit Roll Ups was dumb, especially the ones that were referred to as 'Ugly' Fruit Roll Ups, those were just disgusting. And we won't even mention the perms I was forced to get, (think Napoleon Dynamite hair). I also recall that I use to have a fondness for the Smurfs. What the smurf was I thinking?

1 Corinthians 13:11

It's Nice To Have Goals

Mom and the Robot

I have come to the conclusion that the time my mom spends following and watching the robot vacuum her house, she could realistically do it her self and have saved the $ it cost to buy said robot or better yet she could have given the money to me...I'm just saying.

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody

5-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... just put me down for a five."

Go Pope, It's Your Birthday...

To celebrate Pope Benedict's 80th birthday on Monday, here are some Pope facts:

• Pope Benedict XVI was elected pope at the age of 78. He is the oldest person to have been elected pope since Clement XII in 1730.

• Along with his native German, Benedict speaks fluent Italian, French, English, Spanish and Latin. He can read ancient Greek and biblical Hebrew.
  

• Benedict plays the piano and has a preference for Mozart and Beethoven.

• Pope Benedict XVI is the first pope to own an iPod.

• Pope John Paul II called Cardinal Ratzinger to the Vatican in 1981, and Cardinal Ratzinger and Pope John Paul II had weekly 90-minute meetings followed by lunch.

• You can email the Pope: benedictxvi@vatican.va

• When Pope Benedict XVI visited his house in Pentling, Germany, September 13, 2006, Rubert Hofbauer, the pope's next door neighbor, who cares for the pope's house now that the Holy Father is in Vatican City, set the pope's table with several jars of honey from the bees Mr. Hofbauer keeps in the pope's garden. "I know he misses his house dearly, and he told me so when I visited him in Rome. He asked after his garden, the flowers, even the bees, and after our two animals, Chico, the cat, and Igor, the Golden Retriever." Chico visited Pope Benedict XVI often when the pope lived in his Pentling, Germany, home.

• Pope Benedict XVI still has the stuffed animals his mother made for him when he was a child. Pope Benedict XVI's favorite meal is Bavarian potato ravioli with pancake strips.
  

A Day In The LIfe

Such a life I lead, some people can hardly believe it. So here it is, a day in the life with some added photo's for your viewing pleasure.



This morning I woke up late because the night before I saw a scary episode of the Golden Girls and I couldn't fall asleep until really late. After a few hours of an intense staring contest with the dog I drove over to the Prince of Peace Abbey for mass.





After mass I got in my sweet 1995 Ford Explorer and headed on over to Carlsbad for a run. I have 35 more days until my triathlon and I've been running pretty much everyday. I was a bit nervous running just 2 hours after consuming nachos for breakfast but it turned out eating actually supplied fuel for me to run; Huh, go figure. One exciting part of my run was seeing nature, dead nature. I ran 4 miles down the beach and then turned around and ran above along the cliffs. When I looked down I saw a giant dead seal. Apparently I was so preoccupied with not breaking my ankle on one of the 8 million rocks on the beach that I missed the giant caucus. Look how big said dead seal is! I am not what you would call observant.







At mile 8 Mr. Lance Armstrong spoke to me through my earphones and said, “This is Lance Armstrong. Congratulations. That was your longest workout yet.” I knew there was more than just my voice in my head! You can imagine my surprise to find out it's Lance Armstrong. I wonder who else is wondering around up there.




After running my 8.16 miles I drove 10 miles to my house because I was summoned by my mom to help her with her new purchase. Today mom bought a Romba. A Romba is a robot. A robot that vacuums your house. I don't trust robots, probably because one tried to kill me once...but that's neither here nor there. My mom had me set up the robot to vacuum our house everyday at 9am. That seems a bit excessive but we gotta keep momma happy. Personally I would let the robot have a few days off so as not to make the robot disgruntled and more likely to kill...

Then I did some other stuff, that's not worth typing...it mostly involved saving some kittens from a fire.

Cats and matches, it's never a good thing.

Surfing with Popple

Went surfing. Check this out for more!!

Egg Hunt

I thought Chewie had an egg hidden on his back, turned out, not so much. I also learned a valuable lesson when I tried to put 4 eggs in my mouth...3 is really my limit.

Happy Easter Kenny Rogers!

Thanks to Kyle from Popple for the link.

That's Crazy

I had no idea you could milk a donkey.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm watching the Horse Whisperer and so far I have not seen Robert Redford whisper anything in the horse's ear...I want my money back.

Somebody Stop Me

This isn't me...I hate running...please help...oh Gosh, the endorphins...their so endor-phiny!

Cancelled

I have officially dropped my phone in the toilet so many times that my cell phone insurance cancelled my policy...isn't that so cool!