Twit

Have you heard of Twitter? It's like the lazy man's blog. You have 140 characters to say something. Doesn't matter what. It could be what your doing, who your stalking, what you just ate, what's trying to eat you, anything. As long as you get it in 140 characters. It's like blogging for the severe A.D.D.

Just look at my last week of "tweets"

1. Thank you 30 Rock for writing a line for Alan Alda which included "baby" and "chicken". I get you and I appreciate it. I miss MASH.
2. Horse Doctor!
3. @darlahickman (Screamed to the tune of Jaws theme) phone call...phone call...phone call, Darla call me, Darla call me, da na na!
4. @joiafarmer have you tried the McRib?
5. Catholic Comedy Night With Judy McDonald May 15th, 2009 http://bit.ly/xgmTh Tell your Lutheran friends.
6. Golfing & If I close my eyes & listen it sounds like the Golden girls are here minus Dorthy.You shouldn't golf with your eyes closed though.
7. Lost makes my head hurt...than again, so does Sponge Bob.
8. Hooray for the Foy's and Baby #7! Liam was only 2 weeks late, but in Irish time that's early.
9. How long am I required to keep my 4th grade free throw champ trophy? If I do get rid of it, how?Sell it to a stalker or save it for a relic?
10. Baking sheep.
11. Classic trashy Lifetime movie alert: Mother, May I Sleep With Danger.
12. Red Bull Air Races.
13. I love having shows that follow "tea and then dinner". It's my version of a salary bonus.
14. @toddlemieux Do you do windows
15. Hope I can live up to my new Pergo lifestyle.
16. @popplemusic did it twice, it's been up on youtube for like 5 weeks.
17. I'm officially turning into my mom. On my run I asked a dog if he got a haircut. It has begun.
    
18. "Did you know a rattlesnake can bite you 5 hours after you cut its head off?" - I learn so much when I golf with the Nifty Niners.

Clearly you can see that I had a full and rich week. Although you might not know what have of then mean, I do and can look back at them when questioned on my whereabouts if anyone ever asks.
And the beauty of it is this saves my stalkers tons of man hours! I'm looking out for those who stare at me through binoculars while parked outside my house in an ice cream truck.

In The Buff

I was honored to bring comedy to Buffalo this week and in return Buffalo gave me wings and a sweatshirt that will insure I will never get lost in public again. Thanks Buffalo!

13

Tommy turns 13 today.

I remember the day he was born, I was so proud because he peed on the nurse.

And now he can officially see PG-13 movies.

He can be drafted into the army in 5th world countries.

And he finally stopped marking nurses.

So proud!

Baltimore Fun

The sign does not lie. I had fun in Baltimore. They assured me the weather is not usually as nice as it was but I think they are lying to keep the population down. I also liked the 400 6-10 graders who sat through an hour of me talking, one less hour in Purgatory kids!
Back to less historic San Diego in the morning.

Poor Bea Is Dead

America

Things I remembered I liked since being back in the States:

Digital cable with DVR.
Wi-Fi
Things happen in a timely fashion.
We recycle everything, even TV shows.
My car and the side of the road I drive it on (the same as everybody else).
Weather in Vista is 72 Fahrenheit year round.
I'm no longer the tannest person in any given store, church or airplane.
My dogs.
No second hand smoke.

Things I forgot I don't like:
We recycle everything.
Nothing on digital TV and 80 hours of nothing recorded I still have to watch.
Things move too fast.
My car is a piece of crud.
My dogs kind of stink.
The weather never changes here.
The free Wi-Fi everywhere is probably giving me cancer.
I'm pale.

God Bless America

Later Europe

Leaving Letterkenny for a 2am bus to Dublin for a 9am flight to get us to San Diego at 4pm. Easy.

Irish Easter

In Ireland the more kids you have the better. First of all, there is nothing really good on TV and also more hands for yard work. Also, Irish kids are cute but tend to bite.

Easter in Ireland means consuming enough calories to feed a small nation. It also means a 45 minute mass with no music, all the shops are closed and the sheep rule the streets. It's just different over here.

Medugorje

Three trips to this place in the span of a year deserve a long blog. Until then, look at pictures instead and cut me some slack, I have been hanging out with holy people.

Irish Surf

Today I went surfing in Ireland.

The wetsuit, booties and hood worked great but I had nothing on my hands, I expect to hear from them sometime next November.

Ciao Italy, Hola Ireland.

OK, so it was St. Mark's bones.

P.S. You are not allowed to take pictures inside.

Also, we will not starve in Venice or for the next 17 days after what we consumed in the 24 hours in Italy.

One more thing, my new fan base seems to be 5.

Aviano

We are in Italy.
Tomorrow we get to go to mass in Venice at Saint Mark's...aptly named because the Saint is buried there.
Or so they say, I will use my crime scence investigative skills I have aquired from watch NCIS to investigate and will report back to you. Or I will just go to mass and then eat my weight in gilato...either way I have a show on base at Aviano 18:30!

Goodbye Germany hello Italy...whichever country, sheep is an international language.

Reach Out and Skype Someone

I like to talk to my dad because he is really nice. He also smells great which is irrelevant while talking on the phone but a valid point none the less. He had to stay home while he sent me and mom to Europe for camp. Comedy camp.
Comedy camp which stands for Judy performing while her mom eats head cheese sandwiches. Again not relevant but very gross.








I love you dad!

Wait till ZAGAT hears about this!

Slowest service EVER. I will never come back to this German restaurant again!

Ja!

For three years now I have loved to come to this park bench in Heidelberg and take pictures with random people. I was blessed to pose with some tourists from Japan. What will 2010 bring?

Heidelberg Day One

We made it to Germany a few hours ago. I say we because I brought my body guard along, my mom. I figured if anyone was going to keep me safe in 4 countries in 21 days it was going to be Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was busy but he suggested my mom.
We are off to get lost in this small German town outside Heidelberg and hopefully make it back by 4pm. We have no phone and mom has no Euros but I have a great sense of direction (from years of training by my parents dropping me off miles from home and letting me find my way back) so we should be fine.
If not, at least we will take pictures of our demise and my sister Amy will make sure they get to Nancy Grace. Also if you come to Germany be sure to log onto http://mail.google.com it's not gmail.com, how American!

And God Laughed

XT3.com from Australia interviewed me about "God and His Sense of Humor"...cause I know something that others don't I guess.

Idaho in Pictures

Speakers, Bishops, priests, eating ribs and running down high school halls, oh my.

Boise, Idaho

Some see Stations of the Cross actors, I see living Lent.

It's like what normal people do at Disneyland but more holy and a little creepy at the same time.