I just bought two Maruchan Instant lunches for a dollar and I put in on my ATM card, how cool is that? Instant lunch, for those of you who are not schooled in the finer things, is the one in the Styrofoam cup. Kind of like cup of noodles, but different. They cost two for a dollar at the Vons in La Jolla. However, Maruchan Ramen noodles soup is the same damn thing except in a package that comes with flavoring and no cup. Those are ten for a dollar at the La Jolla Vons. So the main and most important difference here is the Styrofoam cup. Without the cup you have to take out a pan, turn on the stove, put water in the pan, wait for it to boil, (which can take minutes) add the noodles and the flavoring and let stand. Are you kidding me? If I wanted to spend more than three minutes on a meal I wouldn't be eating anything with the words "Chicken Flavoring" on the package. I would eat a real damn chicken!
On Thursday I got a call from scary mobster Sal from the Shelter Point Hotel and Marina telling me I had made the finals of his ten week long comedy contest. Dat Phan opened the show and I had a nice conversation with his girlfriends two year old. We talked about Blues Clues and she was very impressed with my impersonation of Blue. I also tried to explain to her than Joe was now on the show not because his older brother Steve was away at college but because he was a coke-head. She wasn't following me. I think she's in denial. Sal shuffled the cards that night to see the order of the show, a brilliant production secret! Of course I was last. I went on at 11:30pm and had an ok set but CTP was the funniest monkey that night and won. First prize was a night at the Hotel. Second and third place won fig Newton and a carton of milk, respectively.
I had a good set tonight at the Comedy Store. Once again twelve seems to be the magic number for me at the Comedy Store. Twelve strangers laughed and clapped for me. I love it when I make strangers laugh. It's almost as good as when you scratch a dog and their leg starts going. I wish people's legs would kick when they laughed, that would be fun to watch.
Speaking of dog's, I'm glad I'm not one. There was a brief time when I was four that I pretended to be a dog. It was when we got a new refrigerator and my mom let me use the box as a doghouse. She even cut up carrots in a bowl and gave me a bowl of water. I hope and pray that I have an ounce of the patients my mom had for me. My sister's dog has bladder issue so she's putting her down tomorrow. Her name is Flash, the dog, not my sister. Flash just doesn't pee when she laughs too hard. She pees when she walks, when she sits, when she thinks too hard doing the crossword, do you get the picture? If you are I had this flaccid bladder problem we would slap on a diaper but when you're a dog and you have this problem they kill you. Flash is thirteen and that's like ninety one in dog years. I'm glad I don't pee my pants anymore. I don't, so don't schedule any vet appointments for me, okay?
