Aloha!
I am back from Hawaii and ready to deal with the real world and let me tell you the real world is DUMB! The night we got back my dad was really sick with more kidney stones. If I ever get those nasty things you better believe that I will be at the hospital getting pumped full of whatever drugs make me go night night. But my dad is bad to the bone and instead of the heavy drugs the doctor wanted to prescribe for him he said no thanks and is taking Tylenol until he can get in to see the doctor. I am tough but not like that, that's World War II tough. I'm more "Free Tibet" tough. I'll put the sticker on my car but the actual war part is too crazy for me.
The other dumb part about the real world is my car. Before we went to Hawaii we dropped it off because a funky light came on. Come to find out the funky light meant, "Hey Jewd, you need a new transmission, ha ha ha!" Who knew lights could be so mean. It's only going to cost $2,800 for a new transmission.
Good thing I am so rich.
Oh wait, that's Jessica Simpson, sometimes I get the two of us mixed up. Any way, besides the stand up comedy I'm thinking about picking up a paper route or maybe joining the circus.
If any of you have a spare $2,800 lying around give me a call. I don't want a loan. Just think of it as a donation; a donation to Jessica Simpson.
