I am very glad that you want to lose the weight in 2006! Way to go I am so proud of you. But you and all your excited friends with your new shoes and fancy gym clothes are taking up all the treadmills at the time when I usually watch the Golden Girls and this causes a problem for me.
You see, I don't go to the gym to "better myself" or to "feel like a winner". I go to the gym because I am bored out of my skull during the day and if I stayed home to watch the Golden Girls my mom would bug me to do something with her like crochet a hat for the cat...We don't even have a cat!
I am at the gym to kill time between going to mass, performing stand up and sleeping. I don't have time in my busy schedule to wait for the treadmill. To make matters worse the scale in the women's locker room is broken and I can't see how much weight I gained (on purpose) over Christmas. Because as we all know we are loved by God, so wouldn't it make sense to make more of me to be loved by Him?
OK, no, that's just my excuse for using egg nog on my cereal in the morning. It does have less fat than half and half and it adds a tangy bite to my Lucky Charms.
So in closing, please stay away from the treadmills during 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. as this is when I having a standing date with my friends, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia.
Besides, don't you people ever work?
Yours truly,
Judy
