Remember when I wasn't pasty white? I do, I use to be tan. I use to look like a Hawaiian island girl...except different.
The Pope is tan; he must sit outside while he prays.
My dad is tan because he golf's a lot. But pop never was a big fan of sunscreen and I'm not willing to go down that road.
You'd think with some of that German blood I have flowing though me I would be brown, weren't all of Hitler's youth blue eyed blond tan people? I don't know I didn't pay attention in history class, or any other class for that matter. PE was fun though. If I had had only PE classes I would have really been tan, problem solved.
The real problem here is that the sun has been absent for the past two weeks. It's been cloudy and raining and that's just unacceptable. I haven't surfed since the week I was on Dennis Miller Show and needed to go in the water to settle down. But in the last month there has been so many storms the water has either being poopie (literally because of bacteria) too big or too small. Yesterday the dorky weatherman on the news said 13-foot swells. I don't do that anymore.
Seven years ago I broke two vertebrae in my back surfing in 8-foot surf. For those of you who have never surfed and can't imagine what that is like let me paint you a picture.
Imagine being in a tranquil bathtub.
Your floating along you have your rubber ducky by your side, everything is going great.
And bam!
Out of nowhere an eight-foot solid wall of water comes screaming towards you.
You panic and very quickly pick up the red phone that goes directly to Jesus.
By the time Jesus answers the giant wall of water has held you under water for a minute and just as you pop up another wall holds you down causing you to accidentally hang up on Jesus.
That scenario is exactly why I don't take baths anymore.
