Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Minnesota and Iowa

I have so much to tell you...so much.

First of all, in Iowa and Minnesota they eat a thing called taco in a bag.  It's brilliant.  Basically it's a taco but instead of a shell, everything you would find in a shell is instead in a bag of chips.  If the joint is fancy, Dorritos.  I think if Mexico ever hears about this many tortilla jobs will be lost and several pounds will be gained.

Also I learned that in Iowa if you take a certain class you have to carry around a fake baby with you to a youth rally.  Isn't that awesome?  At my high school, there were real babies, but now with technology, we can just use dolls, that's cool.

There was so much more to tell, like how Farmville let me communicate better with my Mid-Western kin, but I will save it for next week as I return to Iowa on Friday.

Go Corn!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Walk with a View

On my walk along the beach this morning I had company.  I kept pace with a pod of dolphin.  As I chugged along they swam and scared the crud out of surfers by popping up right beneath them then cutting the off on waves.  A few times they would actually surf in the waves and then jump out before the wave broke.  It was the coolest thing ever.  It was right up there with the time I was flying in first class while Golden Girls was on the direct tv...that's how cool it was.  My camera phone does not do the scene justice, but you get the idea.  I wonder if somewhere a dolphin is retelling the story of how he kept pace whilst a smoking hot chick clunked along the boardwalk; probably has a better camera phone than me.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Holy Birthday!

Today was a new record for a birthday party: 3 priests, a deacon, 2 sacristans a campus minister and a golden retriever.
Best party ever!  Once again the average age at the party was 73. I learned many things of value from my guests none of which I can share at this time.  Next year's guest list will include the Pope...maybe.

Friday, October 16, 2009

St. Norbert

I'm at St. Norbert College today looking for the illusive "white squirrel" and telling jokes to people who are angry that it's already FREEZING and it's not even Halloween yet.  It was hard to get here thanks to Joe Biden and his field trip to Minnesota which clogged up the airports for several hours, but now that I'm here, I'm leaving tomorrow at 5am.  No rest for the funny.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Crab cakes, Groundhogs and glitter, oh my! 

I had a great time in Maryland this weekend and was blessed to be joined by some good friends. 

In other news just got back from a taping of the Jay Leno Show.  We just happened to go up to Burbank the day  it rained...it never rains in Southern California, until today.  The drive up wasn't bad but on the way back it seemed a "psycho with a gun" closed down Glenddale.  Instead of driving away at breakneck speeds of up to 3 miles per hour we pulled off, just where the streets were blocked off while looking for said phyco...once again we missed ALL the exitement, boo.  Getting ready to Wisconsin on Thursday and back home Saturday for my birthday on Sunday.  Please no gifts, just cash.
Just kidding, no I'm not, buy me a car.  Just kidding, no I'm not really for the love of God, somebody float me some 'G's, I'm totally not good for it, but I'm cute and that must be worth something!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009


My Nike+ ipod just told me I logged 1000 miles and my car is about to turn 150,000 miles.  I should stay home and just sit for awhile.
I'm pretty sure I can get a new car but I might slow down on the miles I put on my feet.  Perhaps I'll start mountain climbing with only my arms.  No, I would have to drive tothe mountains.  I could swim more but the dogs have threaten to drown me if I swim with them again.
I could do isometrics, isn't that when I flex, relax and repeat?
I might start my work out dvd's again but I get too easily emberresed when the dogs walk in.  They stare.  It's awkward.
Golf doesn't count unless I walk, but really, who does that?  I could surf but that involves driving and the chance of being eaten by a shark or a confused rabid seal.
There's always squash, but I don't have the right outfit.
Bowling is disgusting.
Perhaps just sitting still while watching Golden Girls.