Tuesday, May 31, 2005

1,800 Catholics Can't Be Wrong

I had a fun time this weekend at the Life Teen 20th Anniversary weekend. I had a really fun set on Saturday night followed by Tom Wilson and then the band, Green Day...no wait it was Third Day. I met all sorts of cool people and ate food that I didn't have to cook, so that was a bonus. I was blessed to stay at Paris Hilton's sisters Hotel; Anaheim Hilton.


On the way home from the conference my Ford Explorer went, "KAKLUNK" on the freeway. I just turned up the radio like I usually do and that seemed to take care of the problem. But then later that afternoon when I was driving down to San Diego to meet my friends for the Padre game it happened again and this time I couldn't get it out of gear. I think my car knows when my checking account dips below a certain amount of money. I'm so glad I bought that new transmission a month ago, it was totally worth it! I'm taking it in this afternoon and if it needs any money to fix it, I'm just going to have to put it to sleep.
I'll just walk to the beach with my 10 foot surfboard on my head like my forefathers did when they wanted to surf.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Sink or Swim

I have been swimming a lot lately and it's beginning to pay off. For one thing my hair is turning from brown with light streaks to brown with chlorine streaks. I am shrinking in size because it turns out this eating healthy and exercising thing actual works; go figure. I also seem to be turning from my normal Irish pasty white to a more brownish color so people have stopped using me to tan off of at the beach.

Monday, May 23, 2005

He Went to the Dark Side

May 22, 2005 (SPRINGFIELD, Ill.) — Authorities say they haven't made any arrests in last night's robbery of a Springfield movie theater.

Springfield police Lieutenant Dave Dodson says a man wearing a Darth Vader mask walked into the Showplace Eight theater around nine-15 p-m last night. He says the man shoved an employee out of the way and grabbed an undetermined amount of cash before running out of the theater and into a nearby wooded area.

No weapons were displayed.

Dodson says no arrests have been made and police do not have any suspects.

Among the movies playing at Showplace Eight is "Star Wars: Episode Three-Revenge of the Sith."

Sunday, May 22, 2005

6 Miles

I walked 6 miles today which is SO stupid. It was 80 degrees out and I walked through the worst part of Vista (so it was a brisk pace), I am training for the 60 mile 3 day Breast Cancer walk which takes place in October.
When walking, you see things that you don't see as you zoom by in the car. Those 6 miles allowed me to see all the pretty trailer parks in my town.
Only one car honked at me (I must not have been having a cute day) but two different cars almost hit me as I tried to cross the street in the crosswalk on a walk signal. One crazy man selling newspapers made friendly conversation with me but he was also having a few other conversations in his head so we never really never hit it off. All in all I'd rather drive.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Keep on Truckin'

Do you suppose after the 1977 release of "Smokey and the Bandit" there was a influx of people signing up for trucker school? Do you suppose they were disappointed when they found out it was nothing like the movie?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Now That's Good TV!

I have it on very good authority that they are bringing back, "Battle of the Network Stars"!
When I was little this show was right up there with the "Smurfs" and "You Can't Do That On Television". What! You don't remember it? It was a series from the 70's in which teams of TV stars from the 3 major broadcast networks compete against each other in physical challenges.
In my day it was cool people from "Dukes of Hazzard" or "Chips", now I suppose Paris Hilton will be mud wrestling some reality TV show dork. Oh man, I shouldn't get my hopes up there is no way this show will be as good, it can't! Howard Cosell is dead.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Oh Crop!

A new crop is in at the McDonald farm.
We have berries people.
We got blackberries, we got raspberries and we got boysenberries, oh my. And oh ya I know it would sound better to say, "we have" but "we got" has more of a down home farm feeling to it.

I'm glad I was born when I was and not when my food had to come from whatever I grew or killed because I would have starved to death. This gardening stuff sure does take a long time and it cost a lot too. I could have bought a new car with all the money I have spent on seeds and soil so far. Of course this car would have been made out of cardboard, but still.
I have been warned that soon the bunnies will come. I was scared until my mom explained the bunnies would eat stuff out of my garden and not try to attack me personally.
This put me at ease.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Non-Flying Birds

I buried two baby birds today. They were from the same nest right outside my front door and I guess they failed their first attempt at flight.
Birds are hard core creatures.
Lets build our nest really high AND over a cactus.
It’s like sink or swim, except different.
So birds sit on their eggs and out comes that beak and that can’t be comfortable for whoever’s turn it is to sit on the egg that day.
Then they have the baby birds and their squawking, feed me feed me feed me! So the mommy and daddy birds go get food and eat it and then they baggghhhh in the baby’s mouth.
Aren’t you glad cats don’t feed kittens that way?
Then when they are sick of feeding them they push them out of the nest and hope they picked up on the flying somewhere along the way; perhaps from a friend at school or maybe PBS.
We humans have it easy! First and foremost our cribs are on the ground and not over cactus.

Don’t even get me started on those poor baby giraffes!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Frohe Weihnachten!

This summer I am going to Germany with 5 million other Catholics…on purpose.

In preparation I am catching up on the language, you know, learning the lingo. To let you take a glimpse into my world I thought I would share with you the phrases in German that I have been practicing in front of the mirror in my Wonder Woman pajamas.

Please - Bitte

Thank you - Danke

I don't think so! (said like Fred Willard in A Mighty Wind) - Das glaube ich nicht

I hate clowns - Ich hasse clowns

Monday, May 09, 2005

Career Move?

campanologist \kam-puh-NAH-luh-jist\ noun
: one that practices or is skilled in the art of bell ringing.

Friday, May 06, 2005

I Knew It!

A recent study found the least ethical people are junior high students, who came in behind prison inmates.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Where Do You Buy Your Corn?

I buy mine at Walmart and when I was there today buying my watermelon and corn I overheard something I must share. Of course you buy the corn and watermelon in any part of the store but I am a purist and insist on purchasing and checking out in the lawn and garden center. While in the check out line the couple in front of me were admiring the patio furniture. Admiring to the point of laying down in one of the lounge chairs and commenting, "oh honey, this is so comfortable. It would freak out the dogs because it rocks but it would look good in the living room."

Have you heard the expression, it's funny because its true? Well this calls for the expression it's sad because it's true.

Just one more example of why I will always buy corn at Walmart.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Take Me Out...

OK, we can go to the ballgame. Uncle Earl called tonight and offered my family 4 tickets to tonight's Padre game. I discovered something about myself; I really don't understand baseball. I get the catching the ball and hitting and throwing it, but I don't get all the strategy and that makes me mad. Mad because the drunkard lady sitting next to my friend and hitting in him in the ribs anytime anything happened seem to understand everything that was going on. It's like in high school when I played basketball. It would be the last minute of an important game and we were in a timeout. The coach was telling us something, writing on a white board and then the whistle blew and I was back on the court watching everybody run a play. Huh, I guess I should have listened in the huddle.
I have the attention span of a small dog, with a head injury.
Getting back to the whole baseball problem. I want to learn, I want to grow and understand stats and sacrifice flies and taking one in the head for the team. That reminds me, I was really good at that. I could always get on base; the helmet really took the brunt of most of the pitch.
What were we talking about?
Oh yes butterflies.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Water aerobics at the Y!

It's official; Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond does water aerobics at the YMCA just like me. I have started watching Matlock too, has the downward spiral started? Is this the beginning of the end?
I've been eating dinner at 4:30, with coffee.
Does this mole look bad?
Do you know who died?
Whoa what just happened?

I have to go watch MTV and vote or die; that's what people my age do I guess.
Right after Golden Girls and a glass of Metamucil