Tuesday, December 26, 2006

R.I.P. Gerry



President Ford will always be one of my favorite President's because he wasn't afraid to fall...plus he was on the Simpsons.

Merry Christmas and Bon Voyage!


By the time you read this, I'll be in Scotland....OK, well not really, I will be on my way there. So, by the time you read this I'll probably be flying to Jersey.
(That doesn't sound as good though.)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Bing Would be Jealous

A White Christmas is nice and all but a Beach Christmas is warmer.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Perks




Let it be known that not only do I get paid to do what I love but sometimes there are extra little perks...Like last night when I got a bag of free hot dogs.


Jealous much?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Want to Be Funny With Me?

Turn Your Satellite Radio On

I will be interviewd on the Catholic Channel on Sirius Satellite Radio (channel 159) today around 6:00 EST...tell your friends from Bunko.

All I Want for Christmas Is A Popple!

I Have the POWER!


Today, after a month of being without, my new best friend, the Fed Ex driver brought me the best present a girl can have, a 65 watt Mac power cord. My old one was melted when I sat on it and it just couldn't take the heat... why do I share so much?
I no longer have to pilfer power from friends and relatives with a Mac. I am once again an independent dork!
Ahhhh sweet freedom.

Sometimes...Photographs say way more than words.








Kemi and Friend in Las Vegas

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Jude is Not Here!

I am in Louisiana, until further notice I shall be referred to 'baby' or 'sugar'. It's just the way we do things here.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I'm As Bad As I Wanna Be

"Aint nobody gonna tell Judy which way to look...NOBODY!"

Thursday, November 16, 2006

November




My Uncle, William Wallace McDonald died today and I feel like when I heard the Pope died. I'm pretty sure I know where he's going and I'm not scared for him but sad for those who will miss him.

One more Notre Dame fan to help their season.












1976 BBJ & WWM

Tough Enough to Wear Pink


San Jose Police

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Are you ready?

I held a dying man's hand today.
When you do that it really puts things into perspective.
It makes you want to tell the people you really care about that you love them.
It makes you look at your own life to see if you are ready to go if today was the day Jesus told you your sheets were cleaned and your room was ready.
It makes you want to eat desert first and not waste anymore time counting calories.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Oops, I Did It Again


I accidentally signed up again for next year's 3 day walk...So far that's 300 miles walked in only 15 days...Spread out over 5 years; but still impressive none the less.

I almost burned off my cruise calories.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Breast Cancer 3 Day


If you need me I'll be walking 60 miles for the next 3 days...
on purpose.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Customs

Apparently it's illegal to bring back a monkey on a cruise ship.
Judy's new motto:
"It's easier to smuggle a monkey and ask for forgiveness than to ask permission to take a monkey and they tell you no and deny you buffet privileges."

I miss you already Mr. Cocoa

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Redemtive Suffering

Please send help...I am being held against my will in Acapulco by 2 elderly people....and I ran out of imodium.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Fire and Water

I just heard on the news that the wild fire can move the length of a football field in 4 seconds.
What's next, locust?
Since Southern California is on fire we have decided to head to the water.
Monday the roommates (Mom and Dad) and I will embark on an 8 day Mexican Riviera cruise.
8 Days.
1 Cabin.

What are the chances of another hurricane hitting the ship's route twice in a week?

I have seen the Poseidon Adventure, I'm ready to be Shelley Winters.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Look What I Got for My Birthday!


No, not the baby, new socks, but I guess you can't see them in this photograph. Oh well, never mind.

Monday, October 16, 2006

6 degrees of Judy

I just saw the "Departed" (which I think will be the "GodFather" of my generation) and it was not rated PG but it was, pretty darn good. It was weird seeing Marty up there on the big screen. Let's see now, Marty was in the Departed, Alec Baldwin was also in that movie, Alec Baldwin was on a few episodes of Will and Grace as well as, wouldn't you know it...KEVIN BACON!
It's true, you really can trace that guy back to anyone.

Just Like Chess!



I got to hand out with a knight and a Bishop!
And I also performed and saw some tall pointy memorial, all and all it was a fun 24 hours in our Nations capital and it's surrounding areas. I'll be back!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Hello! Goodbye!


I got home last night around 10pm and slept in my own bed! Whoo hoo! Who knew that would be so much fun but after 7 weeks of sleeping all over the world it was nice to wake up to familiar surroundings and two giant dogs sleeping on me...Really, it was cool.
In the morning I make the fun drive down to the airport which will take forever since I hear rain and Californians have a problem with water when it falls from the sky. We are fine to surf in it, just not to drive in it. My friend Jess will drop me off at the airport and then I will have a fun filled day flying to the East coast for a youth day on Sunday in Arlington Virginia. Then it's back on a plane and back home to the West coast by Sunday 11pm. No the fun does not stop, it slows down from time to time but it does not stop!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Goodbye to my Bruddahs


Leaving Arizona with a cold and a week's worth of fun. I'm flying on one of those little puddle jumper planes into Carlsbad tonight so if I go down it will be in a blaze of glory....a screaming fiery ball of glory.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Jolly Good Time!

I learned some things about myself tonight while having a surprise planned going away party at the Jolly Inn in Houma, Louisiana:


1. I have wash board abs.
2. I dance better when my partner is over 75.
3. I attract quality people who enjoy horse back riding and long walks along the bayou.
4. Fried okra makes everything in my body that once was solid turn to liquid in only 7.8 seconds.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Shameless Plug


When on the Bayou I only rent VHS tapes from Top 10 Video. Not only do they have reasonably priced rentals (99 cents for quality movies from the 90's) but they are true to their sign. Which basically means they have 10 VHS tapes to choose from and 9 of them are taped off the TV. They also have giant cokes for sale as pictured in photograph.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Oh Miss Betty!




My friend Miss Betty had a fight.
When she did not have the protection of her Bayou posse, a mean sidewalk jumped up and attacked her face.
We will find the sidewalk that did this to her and justice will be served!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Birthday Registry

I was thinking about all my friends who are getting married or having babies and how you go to a shower or reception and we always have a gift in hand. How did we know what they wanted? They registered at a store. It's 17 days until I have another one of those birthdays and it got me thinking, why aren't there birthday registries? If your going to get a present for your friend or family member wouldn't it make you feel better knowing it was something they really wanted? That's why the birthday registry is a good idea, I don't look rude telling you what I want and you spend your hard earned money on something that will be cherished instead of re-gifted. Of course we all know that it's the thought that counts, but really, if I get one more Faberge Egg, I'll just scream.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/1A8JJ4MNAV4K9
- Thank you Amazon

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Bayou Allowance


You think your chores are bad?
Mine involve cleaning the gumbo pot, sweeping up Mardi Gras beads and of course feeding the gators.
What I have to do for 5 bucks a week.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Meet My New Bayou Gang

Representing we have Bonnie the Rabbit, Miss Betty, BBJ and Moma Cat...Word!
We are younger and more hip than my old Germany Posse.
We'll throw it down with any of ya'll.
Serious.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Ain't Scared

Down here on the Bayou, they aint afraid to have 'angry' skies.

Monday, September 18, 2006

What's in a number?

The countdown has begun!
It's September 18th...on October 18th I will no longer be 24.
Or 25 really...
I ain't counting.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Catholics Run!

Reading 1
1 Cor 9:16-19, 22b-27

Brothers and sisters:
If I preach the Gospel, this is no reason for me to boast,
for an obligation has been imposed on me,
and woe to me if I do not preach it!
If I do so willingly, I have a recompense,
but if unwillingly, then I have been entrusted with a stewardship.
What then is my recompense?
That, when I preach, I offer the Gospel free of charge
so as not to make full use of my right in the Gospel.

Although I am free in regard to all,
I have made myself a slave to all
so as to win over as many as possible.
I have become all things to all, to save at least some.
All this I do for the sake of the Gospel,
so that I too may have a share in it.

Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race,
but only one wins the prize?
Run so as to win.
Every athlete exercises discipline in every way.
They do it to win a perishable crown,
but we an imperishable one.
Thus I do not run aimlessly;
I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.
No, I drive my body and train it,
for fear that, after having preached to others,
I myself should be disqualified.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Sprechen Sie Jesus?

I was sitting in mass last Friday and listening while the priest was giving his homily and I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. It was almost like he was speaking a completely different language or something. Then I remembered, "He is speaking a completely different language…I'm in Germany."

One of the coolest things about practicing our Catholic faith is that it doesn't have to be put on hold when you are away from your local parish. Catholic means universal. Our universal faith transcends into a universal language.

Although I had no idea what this local priest was talking about in his homily I knew exactly what was happening a few minutes later when he lifted the host and then the cup up and prayed, "Dieses ist mein K├Ârper; dieses ist mein Blut." "This is my body; this is my blood."

It was the words of consecration and in German or in English I understood what was happening; Transubstantiation, at consecration the bread and wine become the body and blood of Jesus. Jesus was truly in my midst right there in Cologne, Germany; just like He is there when I attend a mass in California, Louisiana, or Arizona. Wherever and whenever the mass is prayed, one thing always happens - Jesus shows up, no matter what language is spoken. And that is why I am Catholic.

How many times have I sat through a mass at home when English was being spoken and paid no attention to what was happening? I let the priest's words fall on deaf ears because I had heard it all before; it was just background noise during an hour of my Sunday. Only in the last few years have I really been able to start to fathom the love Christ has for me in the Eucharist. Sometimes it takes meeting Jesus in a foreign country to be reminded just how close He always is during mass.

As I reflected on my experience I beamed to think just how cool it is to be Catholic and how I wish I could have the Holy Spirit's frequent flyer miles for just one day.

Monday, September 11, 2006

C'mon the Tigers?!


90,000 purple and gold people screaming for a team that massacred ASU did get my heart pumping.

But to be honest, I was more interested in the Louisiana natives.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

c'mon the hoops!


Here mate! I biked 21.3 miles today...that has nothing to do with Celtic football but I think I have heat stroke so we will call it even.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Run, bike, faint

Back down here on the bayou I was reminded that indeed I was not in San Diego anymore as I went for a run. It was only in the 90's with 300% humidity, not bad at all! After the first 4 miles I stopped and thought to myself, self, you are about to combust! I could feel my inner core rising way past 98.6 so I walked for a few blocks and then ran like a pack of axe wielding midget clown were chasing me...That seemed to do the trick.
I was smarter today and just rode for 8 miles, only 3 cars honked and only 1 racial slur was yelled at me all in all, a good day.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Happy, But Oh So sad!


I'm happy to have arrived in Louisiana but oh so sad that crocodile hunter Steve Irwin died today.

What a kill joy.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Here Mate!

Sitting and waiting to leave on the plane. Frankfurt to New York to Houston and then on down to the Bayou. I have way to many dialects floating in my brain so I apologize in advance for my speech for the next few weeks.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Word


This is my new German posse. Don't mess with my gang, we have mad skills.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

German Art


To each his own.
Having fun in Heidleberg.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

First Class All The Way to Heaven

Flying first class to Germany is not that great...
OK just kidding, it's awesome, ha ha ha....sorry, that will probably cost me a few clicks in purgatory, oh well, it's worth it, such leg room!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

All My Bags Are Packed

One last surf before I left. On this wave I am raising my fist I guess, in defiance against "the man".
I look naked in this photo but I can assure you I was not.
Tomorrow Texas.
Wednesday Germany...Why did I watch Castaway last night? That airplane meeting the ocean scene was not the thing to watch before going on a plane over a big ocean.
See you on the other side...Of the ocean that is.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Summer Time...

...And the dogs are living easy.
Here in California this is how we roll.
We roll in the pool.
We roll in the pool underwater until we get sea sick.
Today after getting out of the pool the yellow lab came over to me and hurled on my foot.
Summer time and my foot has dog sick on it....All right!
I have been surfing as much as I can to get it out of my system because come Monday the only surfing I will be doing is via the internet. I won't be back to the west side till the first part of October...dang, I have to pack...I stink at packing! Do I pack a big suitcase or two little suitcases. Do I pack my October cold clothes now even though it's hot and if I wore them now I would stroke out plus look extremely silly? You think comedians are happy ha ha all the time, well now you know, not so much.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I Ain't Scared

We have all felt it; the feeling of your heart actually lurching up into your throat as the teacher calls your name to come up in front of the whole class. Your palms sweat, your mouth gets dry and suddenly your lunch you just ate wants to come back up to say hello. All eyes, ears and a few noses are on you. So dance monkey, dance! Entertain, be engaging, make them laugh, make them think, make them for the love of God stop looking at you, their stare is penetrating your very soul!

Jerry Seinfeld is quoted as saying, "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."

Does this ring true in your life? Are scared to death to speak where two or more are gathered? "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (Matthew 18:20) Why be scared, Jesus is there!

Speaking from the perspective as someone who does this for a living (not getting up in front of a class but as a stand up comedian) I can tell you that speaking in front of 4,500 people does not scare me in the least. It's the speaking in front of one person that catches me off guard.

For me, I know my chances are better the more people I get in front of. Have you ever had a joke bomb in front of thousands of people? Me neither but I hear it's not that bad because even if just half of 4,500 people laugh that's still 2250 laughing people. Bombing in front of 1 person, well you get the idea.

No one likes to look dumb in front of his or her peers, or alone for that matter. I think many times in our lives we avoid speaking in front of a few friends let alone thousands because we are afraid of what they will think of us.

They might see the zit, hear that voice crack or figure out that sometimes I really don't know what the heck I'm talking about. Guess what, that IS scary! But do you know what I discovered? We are all in the same boat. I know a lot of people who talk smooth and look good and there's not one of them who doesn't have an off day every once in awhile except Chuck Norris but I don't actually know him so it doesn't count.

The beautiful thing about us humans is that we are not perfect. Let me repeat that so I can hear it, humans are not perfect! So in theory, when imperfect humans get up in front of other imperfect humans chances are something is bound to go wrong from time to time. The good news is that in fact, none of us has it all together all the time so you should never be ashamed to let your voice be heard. Because in reality the people you are scared to look stupid in front of are just as scared to look stupid in front of you.

Isn't that so cool?

The day I became comfortable on stage and even in talking to people one on one was when I embraced my imperfectness. In fact when I embraced my dorkiness. It's the day I was able to accept the fact that I may not be perfect and well, I'm proud of it and I'm not going to try to hide it.

I also have to admit right now that it's wasn't an actual day that I discovered this but a slow, long and quite painful process that I'm just trying to speed up for you by cluing you in on what I learned.

Fear God not people. You never have to worry about God thinking you are dumb because He already knows you are pretty cool. How does He know? Well duh, He made you and as the poster states; "God don't make no junk!"

If all else fails and you are still a nervous wreck and you feel like you are going to hurl when you have to talk to one or a thousand people just do what I do and picture everybody in their underwear. You still might have to hurl but it might just even the playing ground enough to let you say what's on your heart.


My dad and I went to the Padre game and wouldn't you know it, our heads got superglued together! And to add salt to the wound, the Pads lost. Good thing football season is right around the corner...Good thing we live in the climatic wonderland of the United States, it makes up for our sports teams.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Happy Birthday to Billy and GK!


Keep talking because you help me fall asleep faster than a gulp of nyquil or a mallet to the head! And GK, you tell good stories, keep on keeping on.