Wednesday, June 29, 2005


That project that was started in January crashed last night and for a brief moment in time I was very angry. I opened up the movie and the audio was there but the moving pictures (an essential element to a movie) were gone. After promising God I would be a nun and feed the poor and eat all my vegetables it finally came back. I lost three days worth of edits but it's better than losing six months worth.
Sister Judy

Monday, June 27, 2005

Home Again

I am back in my own house tonight and I never noticed how crowded it is in here. I am a person who likes my space. I can spend long periods of time being alone and be fine. But I like having the option of someone being around just in case I start choking on an olive pit. I like the safety net. For those who really don't like other people I can see how owning pets is the ideal. Not that a Golden Retriever could perform the heimlich maneuver, in a pinch maybe dial 911, but you are still out of luck if you choke on the pit.
I spent the day editing a video that we have been working on since January. If I get it done soon it would mean a paycheck and I could buy my mom a really cool birthday present and not another framed picture of her with some famous dead person that I made on the computer. This week I am starting another film with my nephews for an upcoming conference. They are excited about the project but a bit weary of bunji jumping with the homemade equipment. I told them to buck up because they are 5 and 9 now and not little kids anymore.
So much to do this week before I go to Notre Dame.
Will I get it all done?
Probably not, but I've learned to deal with my imperfections already I figure everybody else should as well.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Reader Mail

Dear Judy,
My mom says I should stay in school and be a doctor. But I want to be a stand up comedian. I really like your comedy and wonder, where do you get your ideas?
Billy McCloskey
Toledo, Ohio

Dear Billy,
You should listen to your mother and be a doctor! Just remember this, doctor's can always tell jokes but stand up comedians can't perform surgery.
As for the ideas for my comedy, I just listen to the voices.
Stay in school Billy!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

The Truth Shall Set You Free!

SEOUL (Reuters) -South Korea's baseball players have been banned from putting frozen cabbage leaves under their caps to beat the summer heat.
The Korea Baseball Organization (KBO) took action after Doosan Bears pitcher Park Myung-hwan's cap fell off during a game last weekend, revealing his secret cooling agent.
"Park has been using frozen cabbage to cool down since last summer, but we didn't know until now," KBO chief of referees Heo Koo-youn told Reuters Wednesday. Park, who twice dropped leaves on the mound during last Sunday's game with the Hanhwa Eagles, said he was disappointed with the ruling but would not appeal. "I'm sensitive to the heat and my wife recommended I put frozen cabbage leaves under my cap to cool my head," he said. "I will respect the KBO's decision. Even without the cabbage, my pitching won't be affected."

I'm so glad this problem is finally out in the open. For the longest time I thought it was just me. It started innocently enough. I would freeze a leaf of cabbage or a slice of pepper and keep it on person on hot days. But then the weather cooled and I kept the vegetables. It seemed I couldn't get out of the house with out putting something from the crisper under my hat. When I wasn't able to wear a hat I started putting radishes in my shoes. I kept a garden out in the back and I would sneak out late at night and put carrot in my ears, what a rush!
All these years I had stayed away from drugs and alcohol and what got me in the end was the one thing my mom was making me try!

I'm just glad that this is out in the open, I feel much better.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Not Over The Hill

Tonight to my delight when I turned on the TV I thought I saw my grandma, turns out it was just Benny Hill dressed like a woman. Please don't think I am a horrible person until you have seen a picture of my grandma.

Benny Hill was a show that I use to watch late at night with my dad, it was almost as good as when I could stay up and watch Carson. Of course at the time I got none of the jokes on Benny Hill (not to be confused with Benny Hinn who is funny in his own right)but knew it was funny even then. Now when I watch TV I just get sad.

After Benny Hill I started flipping and had to turn off the TV when I stumbled upon, "Celebrity Charades". It's bad enough when you have to play with your family, why on earth would I want to watch "celebrities" play it. That's like watching a channel with other people's vacation slides, "oh and this was me and Uncle Bob at the lakes, right before he got sick and the doctor had to take his leg."

No thank you.

I want the variety show back. Not Nick and Jessica's variety show, no ABC, you got it wrong. Even the Muppet shows of the 70's had more entertainment value than anything on TV today. When it comes down to it, people like costume changes. Lot's of feathers and boas. Did you hear me network TV? Bring back the network variety show bad sketches and all!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Donde Esta El Gato?

I am taking care of a friends 2 dogs, hermit crabs and cat...Where is that cat?

My family has had a few cats over the years but they have never lasted long. The reason is mostly because of my dad's alleged allergy to cat's ergo the kitties have to live outside. That's the major factor og our cat's short life span: LIVING OUTSIDE. We have lot's of coyotes in my neck of the woods and there is nothing coyotes love more than nibbling on kitties. I remember Oreo, aptly named because he had a delicious cookie shell and a creamy fluffy filling. No he was a black and white cat and I got to name him and I was four. Oreo lasted about 6 months until a pack of coyotes discovered how good those O-R-E-O's are.
After a few more cats we gave up. We are dog people and we are happy with that. I can name all the dogs I have ever had:

**Kraut (my dad's Weimaraner who could do no wrong, all around wonder dog)

**Fluffer (my little white dog who I would take down the slide with me and walk in a stroller, at the time I thought she loved it, now I can see why she committed suicide)

**Snickers (chocolate lab who use to snap at my 80 year old grandma)

**Early (my first golden retriever who I taught to surf on a body board)

***JJ (My roommate and I went halfsies on this chiwawa during college. I got the front half.)

*Mac (replacement for Early when he was hit by a car, only Golden I know who bites small children. He is also a swimmer)

*Chewie (yellow lab that was adopted from my sister and has had thousands of dollars worth of training but still chews everything in sight.)

*Still living with us
**In heaven with Jesus and all the Saints and Angels

***Still alive but not living with me

I have nothing againts cats, I just feel safer with 2 dogs guarding me in this house rather than 2 cats. What is a cat going to do if an axe weilding midget clown comes in the house? Hack up a fur ball?

All this talk has made me hungry for some oreo cookies but before I partake I need to find the cat and get him INSIDE!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

It's Summer Time!

Today marks the first day of summer or if you are like me and live and Southern California today marks Tuesday.

I have often wondered if I have missed something by not experiencing seasons. I had the seasons, they just never changed, that's not true once in 1993 is dipped down under 60 degrees and I had to put on a sweater.

The beginning of summer makes me reminiscent of camping at Carlsbad State Beach with my family. Camping to me involves a large motor home with running water and a TV but camping nonetheless.

It makes me think back to when I was too little to go swimming alone and would sit right where the waves would crash on the beach. If I sat there long enough the tide would go in and out and I would sink down into the wet sand. When I would finally get up there would be so much sand in the nylon pocket of my bikini bottoms that my mom would have to come and help me deposit 8 pounds of sand back on the beach.

Next time you are at the beach do yourself a favor and sit at the shore for a while, but not too long in case your mom is not there.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Not Without My Lenny!

Father's Day came and went with me still winning as favorite daughter. Nothing official was announced but I am confident that my mass card, pool cleaning and free car wash coupon was dad's best gift. Yes I am 28 and have to make coupon cards for my parent's presents, don't judge!
My mom started cleaning out some drawers yesterday and found an envelope containing a bunch of birth certificates. Don't worry; they weren’t from all the kids that were naughty so they got rid of them (that story only worked for a brief while in the 80's with me when I was naughty). They were Cabbage Patch Birth Certificates. Like the stories we get on our birthdays about how long she was in labor these certificates brought back a wave of pain and suffering for mom. She would wait in long lines early in the morning waiting for “the release” of a few dolls. She finally acquired three for us girls and we “adopted” them on Easter morning 1988. At the time Cabbage Patch dolls were the hottest things going. Hotter than Paris Hilton saying, “that’s hot” while she herself is on fire.
My Cabbage Patch Doll was a preemie named Lenny and it was love at first sight. His baldhead had been soaked in what I’m sure was some carcinogenic chemical that made it smelled like baby powder. He had the signature on his little butt, to prove he was an authentic Cabbage Patch. He was perfect, right down to his little…oh dear God, what’s wrong with Lenny’s hands!

Here is the letter my mom wrote to the Cabbage Patch Quality Control People:

May 6, 1984

Please find enclosed pictures of our newly acquired darling, Lenny Dwane. Like every other mom in the country, I have been stalking the stores trying to acquire doll for our 3 girls. I was lucky enough to happen into a “Best” Store in Oceanside, California before Easter and purchased one. Our youngest girl was given Lenny as an Easter gift. That’s the good news, now for the bad news.
We discovered that Lenny’s right hand was backwards and smaller than his left one. He’ll never be able to make a fist (let alone ever eat an ice cream cone with that hand).
We know we could never get Lenny away from Judy to send back for proof, so we took pictures of his deformity. We thought for what we go through to pay and purchase a Cabbage Patch Kid, Quality Control should see.

Thank you,

Ginny McDonald
(Lenny’s Grandma)

Enclosed with the letter was a photo of my brave adopted son Lenny with his little backwards withered hand, reminiscent to Corporal Radar O’Reilly from MASH (didn’t you ever think it was weird that you never saw his one hand?).

On May 23 we received this letter back: I have added my own feelings on the letter in brackets.

Dear Ms. McDonald,

We have received your recent letter regarding Cabbage Patch and are sorry to hear you are having problems.[Send out a form letter! My kid’s hand is on backwards!] The impact that Cabbage Patch Kids have made on everyone, including all of us at Coleco, has been phenomenal. [Cha Ching!] For this reason, we have created a Cabbage Patch Repair Center. [ on a Cabbage Patch TV special they showed this place as a kind of hospital where “doctors” and “nurses” tended to Cabbage Patch kids who had been involved in serious car accidents or badly burned in a grease fire. I vividly remember seeing an ambulance pull up to said center and a paramedic jumping out of the back with a bandaged up Cabbage Patch Kid.] If the Cabbage Patch Kid is less than 30 days
old, please send Cabbage Patch Kid, along with a copy of your sales slip to Coleco for repair.[What happened to the ambulance?] If beyond 30 days, or the result of damage other than a factory defect, return to Coleco for repair along with $7.50 to cover the cost of repair, and shipping and handling [That’s actually pretty good health insurance. $7.50 co-pay for transportation and what would probably be a very tricky hand replacement surgery.] Should the Cabbage Patch Kid be beyond practical repair, [terminal] the Cabbage Patch and your $7.50 will be returned. [for pain and suffering]

If we may be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us at the above address. [perhaps they offer a Cabbage Patch Kid Grief counseling program]

Sincerely yours, [That’s a warm touch]


20 years later and Lenny is doing fine. We kept Lenny "as is" and it taught me a valuable lesson:

Dolls really don't use their hands that much.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Graduation Day

Today is my nephew Mikey's last day of pre-school.
If you are very quiet you can hear the joyful sobs of his teacher.
Look out kindergarten!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Garden Intervention

Do other plants get mad when they find out their friends are on Miracle Grow?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


As I was drinking my can of V8 juice today and getting my servings of vegetables it started me thinking. But then my brain hurt so I had to stopped. After I laid down for a minute and waited the dizziness to pass, I started thinking again. If they can cram a serving of vegetables into a can why not other things? Why not have M8, made with your essential meat for the day? Why not pork, rib eye and some chicken in a delicious canned drink? For the person on the go, or for people with no teeth. I should have had a M8!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

It's a Bird, no...what the heck is that?

Back from Florida and I had a great time. I met some really cool people and that's weird considering it is so hot in Florida. Here in Southern California we do not have this thing called "humidity" and for that I am grateful. Several times I left the door open so I could in fact try to cool down the whole state with the AC but alas, it did not work. I learned all about the joys of sitting in the exit row of the plane and how it can be just like first class, except different. I experienced the surreal act of watching 'Golden Girls' for an hour and a half until I realized I was not watching the TV show but actual elderly women outside my window. Surprisingly they were just as entertaining as Blanche, Sophia, Dorothy and Rose. I was fascinated with a large bird that I have never seen where I live until someone explained, "that's no bird, it's a bug"!

Friday, June 10, 2005

Zoom, Zoom

Up and out the door at 5am to catch a 6:30am flight to Florida. Cold to heat, this is very glamerous!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Oh boy, today I saw the sun! I think it was the sun, not having seen it since I left San Diego. It was an intense fire ball in the sky. I stared directly into it for awhile just to make sure it was the sun. Now I see spots, is that normal? It's come to this; pure joy from seeing a flaming ball of gas.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Good Will Hunting

This morning we woke up to 47 degrees and raining, not funny God! It's June, this is just ridiculous. Needless to say we were freezing so after we dropped the kids off at school we headed out to buy some jackets. We were going to the mall when my Scottish senses (like spidey senses except different) kicked in. Cheap clothing was near, but where? There, on the left! I saw the brilliant Blue Block letter that spelled out: GOODWILL.
I got a North Face fleece, retail price $75.
Goodwill price, $4.99!
And in Oregon when they say $4.99, it's just $4.99 because there is no sales tax here baby!
Tomorrow, who knows maybe a trip to the Salvation Army! As long as you wash it before you wear it, everything should be OK.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Rain Rain

Go Away!
Found out why Portland is so rains non-stop! It was cute at first but now it's just annoying. A little overkill if you ask me. The good thing about people up here is that life does not stop for rain. If it did stop every time it rained, well, it would stop a lot. Another good thing about Portland is the endless supply of fleece. It must be cheaper up here because everybody wears it. Fleece jackets, fleece socks, fleece underwear, everything!
Also an endless supply of bookstores and coffee shops. In San Diego when it is chilly and rainy I love to curl up by the fire with a good book and drink a warm beverage. So it just makes sense that when it rains everyday those businesses would make a killing. Caffeinated learned people up here.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I am in Portland, Oregon

It really is true: If you want to go to Ireland but can't afford it, go to Portland Oregon.
It's just as green and they have better teeth.

What I learned today

I just got back from the Hollywood Bowl and have to make this quick so I can go to bed before I have to catch a flight.

Today I learned that God can use a German Shepard to be someone's guardian angel....more on that one later.

I also learned that Martin Sheen likes a Prairie Home Companion....more on that later.

I am also still smiling from being able to meet (thanks Thomas) and sit down and talk to Garrison Keillor....way more on that later.

If you are reading this blog and don't know who Martin Sheen, Garrison Keillor or a german shepard is stop right now. Press control + N, open a new page and Google them. Come on people, educate yourself!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Happy 80th Anniversary!

LONDON - A British husband and wife revealed the secrets of the longest marriage of any living couple on Wednesday as they celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary — don't sleep on an argument, always share a kiss and hold hands before going to bed.

Percy Arrowsmith, 105, and his 100-year-old wife Florence, were married on June 1, 1925, after meeting at their local church in Hereford, western England, where he sang in the choir and she was a Sunday school teacher.

Queen Elizabeth sent her congratulations to the Arrowsmiths, who celebrated their anniversary Wednesday with coffee and nibbles at home with family and friends.

"What a splendid achievement. I send you my warm congratulations and best wishes for your 80th wedding anniversary," the Queen wrote in a card to the couple.

The Arrowsmiths, who have three children, six grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren, claim the key to their long marriage is not to go to sleep on an argument. They say they always kiss each other and hold hands each night before going to bed.

"He can't settle down if I'm not holding his hand," Mrs. Arrowsmith was quoted as saying last month.

The couple's daughter Jane Woolley said her parents were both "very perky."

"She (Mrs. Arrowsmith) says she can't dance any longer but it feels good to have been married for 80 years. She says she can still have a drink," Woolley said.

Guinness World Records said the pair held records for the longest marriage for a living couple and the oldest aggregate age of a married couple.