Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Mac stinks.
And it's not even his usual golden retriever stink either. Mac stinks because he tried to give a skunk a kiss and the skunk refused. Late Friday night I heard a crash boom bang as Mac ran through the doggie door yelling, "the British are coming, the British are coming!"
Wait, sorry, different story.  He came in sneezing and crying and looking for me to warn me that something had blown stank right between his eyes. Three seconds after he made it inside the smell told me what had happened.  A skunk must have exploded in his face.  It wasn't a normal skunk smell but this skunk must have been on anabolic steroids and eating a diet of garlic because this was an angry smell.  Mac, being confused and in pain ran to his favorite spots in the living room to understandable rub his face and because he has no hands he used the furniture and the carpet and the tile of the house.  It made sense to him, it's not his fault God left off the opposable thumbs.  Right away I googled skunk and left the results up on my computer as I took of my shoes and walked Mac back to the shower.  We went in clothes and all and I sat on the tile and just let the water run over his head.  He looked at me like I was in on some cruel joke against him.  While we were having a soak I had a team of helpers looking up a concoction on the Internet page.  Apparently when there is a skunk emergency people pull it together fast, we were like a trauma team and within minutes my mom brought a mixture of baking soda, peroxide and dish soap.  According to people who's dogs have recently been skunked this stuff is the best.  I globbed it on Mac being careful to keep it away from his eyes per instructions of Internet experts and waited with him for about 10 minutes.  Surprisingly Mac did not enjoy this quality time as much as I did.  I rinsed him off and then gave him another bath.  Where I put the mixture on him worked great and even lightened his coat for the summer thanks to the peroxide.  Unfortunately the spot right between the eyes where he got the brunt of the skunk still is ripe.  With the dog somewhat smelling better now we have the house problem.   Mainly that our house stinks like skunk.  We have listened to all kinds of advice; put out coffee beans to soak up the smell.  Place bowls of vinegar to do the same.  Wash the dog in tomato juice.  Burn your house down and start over.  We have listened to it all.  Now our house just smells like coffee, vinegar and skunk and has a tint of red to it.
When you are sitting in it for awhile your nose and brain tag team and talk to each other and actually get used to it.  It's when you are gone for the day and come back home when you remember that indeed a skunk has paid a visit to the McDonald house. Or better yet when someone pays a visit they can really tell something is not right.
The skunk smell has taught me a lesson,  just because you get used to something doesn't mean it's OK.  Sometimes things still stink even though you are fine to sit in it.  See how deep a skunk can get you to think? Stupid skunk.