Happy Birthday America, I forgot to get you anything...instead I sat on my butt and watch hours of television. It started this morning with "She's Got the Look". It was like seeing a horrible car accident involving want-a-bee models over 35, I couldn't take my eyes off it! I also flipped to "King of The Hill" and "Twilight Zone" Marathons because I enjoy the finer things in life.
Then the movie "Jaws" came on and well, I'm a sucker for Chief Brody and who doesn't like a young sexy Richard Dreyfus. Then "Jaws II" came on (Jaws II Electric Boogaloo) and once again that Chief Brody had to do everything himself and kill the giant fish all by himself with the help of a giant power cord. After two down I had to stay and watch "Jaws 3". That was a favorite of mine when I was little because it takes place in Sea World and the giant momma shark comes looking for her giant baby shark and eats water skiers, now you understand how a 7 year old would absolutely LOVE this movie. By the time "Jaws: The Revenge" came on I was just too stuck to the chair to physically get up. Michael Cane who appeared in this movie had the best quote when he said, "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific." Silly Englishman.
By the time all the blood had cleared the water the local fireworks began and I was again reminded that my dog hates America. OK, he does not hate America, just fireworks. I guess if I had super hearing I would not be too keen on them either. It happens a few times a week because we live close to the Marine Base and when they practice shooting things with their tanks Mac goes from a tough 8 year old 70 pound golden retriever to a quivering little puppy who tries to get into any lap he can. This can be cute but also proves embarrassing at dinner parties. So tonight as I type this with a golden retriever on my lap I say, "Happy Birthday America and thanks for the great television programming for your birthday!" Amen.