Sunday, November 01, 2009

Des Moines, IA

It's been very exciting so far in Des Moines, Iowa.  I got to meet the Bishop AND a giant piece of corn.  Saturday night I performed for a group of young adults who gathered in the Diocese offices, which use to be a bank, but now are the offices which both confused and delighted me.  Anyway, that was very fun.  After that we drove about an hour to the St. Thomas More Center which is about 3 miles from the middle of nowhere.  On the way we were systematically stalked by suicidal deer who tried to throw themselves in front of the Suburban.  I have learned from my short time here in Iowa, that if you happen to hit a deer while driving it's best to just step on the gas and barrel through Bambi because if you were to break, it causes your vehicle to dip down and that allows the deer to break through your wind shield and impale you.  Then for the rest of your life you have to walk around with antlers sticking out of your head.  And at parties when you sit down people will mistakenly put their coats on your head because they think you are the coat rack and that's not fun, quite frankly it's embarrassing. Adult acne is hard enough.  Adult acne and deer antlers would frankly be too much.

I also saw a shop that was not open at the time but sparked my interest.  Apparently it's the place in town to go if you have a hankering for some rump roast and also have to get your bike fixed, simply brilliant.  One stop shopping at it's finest. 
We were also regaled of stories of what will happen if you die and no one finds your body for several days...and you have cats.  That cat that you took care of, petted, feed and cleaned up after, will in fact start to eat you.  True story.  I also learned that most of the chickens we eat don't have beaks.  Why?  I don't know, that was not explained to me.  All I know is that unless I see it and kill it myself, I ain't gonna eat it.  Gosh, I hope I hit a dear on the way to the airport because I have been afraid to eat since I got here.