Saturday, June 07, 2008

June 5th - June 8th...Because You Care

I know you were wondering what has been happening in my world and I have decided to allow you into it...lucky.
Lets see, Thursday..well it's really none of your business what I did Thursday, tend to your own garden Mary. Oh wait, I hiked 4 miles and then golfed on an empty stomach because I was suppose to fast for a blood test. The blood test that almost killed me. I am not a queasy kind of gal so after the Edward scissor hands "nurse" jabbed her needle into me and took the first vile of blood it was no problem but when she started the next vile and said "whoops" because the blood just stopped flowing in my mind I said, "that's a problem". She must have pulled the needle out just enough while changing tubes that it still stayed in my skin but popped out of the vein. She pushed and pushed but no more blood was coming out (this is when the sweat started to roll off my head and down my back, I felt a bit out of sorts you might say). Now I didn't want to say anything because getting blood drawn is not suppose to hurt and I didn't want to be a wimp. So instead I just started to wonder why I was sweating so much and feeling like I just got off a roller coaster. Instead of pulling the needle out, admitting defeat, taking a breathe and starting over, Nurse Hatchet just dug around some more because I guess she thought the blood would just magically start flowing. Instead it just caused me to turn a color that was a few shades paler than the Irishman I hang out with and she finally stopped and said..."hey, are you OK? you don't look good." To which in I responded, "I'm OK, are you OK? What you mean this sweating, no I sweat like this all the time, it's great, I'm pretty sure it's just my body shutting down because it knows you are trying to kill us and it would rather black out than be conscience whilst it succumbs to your medieval torture." It was that or I said something like, "no." Regardless, she was picking up what I was throwing down and perhaps out of fear that soon she would have to be picking up what I was throwing up pulled the needle out and told me to put my head down. After some water and staring at the really nasty carpet the thought of death became less appealing and I turned away from the light. Then she dove into my other arm and struck gold. The poor woman probably thought my near brush with death was her fault, which it was but I suppose a bit could be blamed on my hiking and golfing but only a bit. If that blood result comes back normal I'll eat your hat.

Friday was Wild Animal park day with Mikey's school. Let's just say after the field trip I was pricing cats. Half the kids could have cared less that they were at the zoo and the other half according to my mom didn't even know they were looking at real animals because of all the TV and video games they watch. The best part of the day for me was when the class saw the gorillas. The teacher reminded them that they had seen a movie about a gorilla that learned sign language and they all started their version of signing to the gorilla. Let's just say that Ko Ko would have been so proud because this gorilla did in deed know sign language and as plan as day told every body in Mikey's class that they were number 1. Of course when questioned by Mikey if we had just witnessed that, "that monkey flipped me off" we said, "no don't be silly" but deep down we knew, that gorilla was just sick and tired and didn't want to take it anymore and was seriously considering buying 34 cats instead of hanging out with 34 children.

Saturday started with a 6am hike and then home to wash the dishes and scrub the algae out of the pool while the dogs supervised...jealous. Then off to BBQ where I toyed with the idea of combining the cake with the hot dog bun but thought better of it because people were watching and judging. After that it was off to mass and Mikey's 4th communion, he's counting how many times he goes to communion while he is 8, chances are he will lose count soon so I bring a steak knife to mass with me so he can carve a mark to remember...don't worry, he carves it in his leg, not the pew, duh.

Today was started with 600 stairs and then a trip up to Laguna Beach for visiting and lunch with my aunt. Upon arriving home I watched in amazement as my dad perfected his calorie cutting technique by eating his sunflower seeds with an exacto knife to slice them open. Thus slowing down his intake and decreasing calorie intake...He will lose a finger by tomorrow....fingers weigh at least a pound, right? Hows that for instant weight loss.

Tomorrow I'm going to see some practice rounds for the US Open at Torrey Pines. Hopefully it won't end bad like it has for other US Open spectators. You can't bring phones to the US Open so undoubtedly I will get the call for my test results from my blood test that say I have some horrible Gorilla disease and I must hurry and eat at least 34 sunflowers seeds by 12pm. But I will miss that call because of dumb people who ruin it for everyone else by using their phones for evil instead of good while Tiger Woods is in his back swing. Thanks to them I will have to hear my shocking test results in a voice mail...which in turn will just make for a stellar blog the next day. So watch the sky for lighting and then watch the news for me.