After 2 days of waiting and eating whatever I wanted since I could have a had a horrible disease and drop dead at any minute I marched into my doctors office today and asked for my MRI results. A few months back one of those pesky "suspicious lumps" was found which started the fun process of inconclusive mammograms and the inevitable MRI. Family history and past surgical biopsies make it old hat for me.
Here is a tip from Aunt Judy, when the doctor's office says they will call with the results they are not lying. They just have a different concept of time that you or I might have. Because they would eventually call back but you could have died from natural causes in the mean time. The MRI man (I think that was his official title) told me the results would be read in a few hours and my doctor would be sent the results by the end of the day.
Fair enough. I have played this game before. I get a test done with the understanding that it is probably nothing and in the course of waiting for the results every Lifetime movie, telephone commercial and Hallmark card you see is about breast cancer.
The devil loves to take the unknown and twist it until every worst-case scenario is played out in your head until you are convinced that you soon will be a statistic.
Fear kicks in, maybe even anger, some confusion and before you know it you are standing in front of the fridge at 3am eating straight out of the carton of Rocky Road.
But not this time. Between the “finding” and today I had been traveling. In one of my travels I found myself at a healing service. Without going into too many details, I felt a marked difference after the prayers of healing had been prayed. When I say marked, I guess I am really saying heat. When I say heat, I guess what I am saying is that my boob got HOT! A kind of hot that only the Holy Spirit or a small trash fire can generate and since I didn’t smell smoke I knew the Holy Spirit had gotten the job done. A few weeks went bye and finally went in on Monday and low and behold today after having a sit in at the doctors office until the report was read my ears heard what I had already felt, “whatever was there before is gone now.”
“Well duh!” Is what I yelled on the inside but on the outside I just smiled and used my inside voice to say, “thank you”.
What I realized today while sitting in the office was that horrible disease or not I was ok. (I also realized the people at the front desk kind of freak out when they realize you aren’t going to leave until you are told your results and freak out even more when you bring a cooler and a DVD player with Lonesome Dove).
I have said it before but each time I go through a scare God leads me into a deeper understanding of what kind of peace He can bring. Sure having breast cancer would really blow, but I was confident that God wouldn’t let me go through it alone and not only be healed but be a witness as I went through it. And of course I would be ok, if it was all clear because, well, duh.
I guess the key is to understand that if you can find peace in something like that, you can find peace in the million stupid things that happen everyday, which are in no way as scary or stressful yet they still cause us great worry.
In the end, when you figure this out your either really holy and they fast track you to Sainthood or you die and you have a V-8 moment and think, why did I waste all that time down there worrying when I could have been eating ice cream and playing canasta with the elderly?
My other update is that my niece Sydney came out of surgery last night minus her appendix. Turns out she presented with a classic “appendix needs to come out case” but when they got in, it was fine but they figured, “hey we are already in here, might as well take this thing out so it looks like we know what we are doing”. They think she has a viral infection and the poor kid will spend the last week of her summer recouping from surgery.
But the real thing I would like to discuss happened last night. I went outside to play with the dog and cut some roses for a vase and while walking the grossest thing that has ever happened to me occurred. For those of you have ever had the pleasure of walking on the beach in California you have probably stepped on seaweed or bulb kelp and felt it pop underfoot. Well that’s what happened last night, in the dark and there was no seaweed around. I instantaneously knew what it was and every part of me wanted to have a Silkwood scrub right then and there. I ran in the house (very carefully) and got the flashlight. I came out and after a few seconds of searching found what I knew it was. I had stepped on a dead mouse and it had exploded! I knew it was dead because ants don’t usually gather that quickly in less they are on some sort of performance enhancing drug and if that’s the case I have a whole new set of problems. Praise Jesus I had my sandals on because I can barely get the thought out of Mickey exploding under my sandal and the thought of his spleen doing that on my bare foot would have taken all of God’s peace away and He would have had to come and personally driven me to the “get that terrible mouse exploding under your foot sound out of your head" doctor.
I just hope it wasn’t the mouse from my video just dropping bye to say hey.
Now you are in the loop, like it or not. If you have been offended because I spoke about my hot boob or exploding mice I am sorry, I don’t make this stuff up, I just report on it.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Monkeys, Wi-Fi and No Bugs.
We live in a world full of ways that make our lives easier. This will not be a reflection on that.
I did however have the chance to think about how lucky I am to live where I do, when I do. To live in an age where at any minute I can be in contact with just about anybody I know. Through mobile phones, instant messages, blogs, Tweets and smoke signals we know just about everything about everyone as it happens. Got a suspicious mole? Google it.
A weird looking butterfly just bit you in the neck? There's an ap for that.
I had about 40 minutes or so to think about these things yesterday as I hung out (literally) in an MRI machine. As you may know my Mom, Dad and sister are all cancer survivors and since most of my dad's side did not survive all sorts of different types of cancer, every time I sneeze twice in a row I have to have some test done because it might be the "C" word.
Not only do we have MRI's to see if there is a lump, bump or a tumor but we even have blood tests (that I contributed to after the MRI) that test for mutations in genes...so living in this time with this kind of technology with my genes is pretty awesome.
After being subjected to two hours of tests that would tell me if I had a disease or even if I had a higher percentage of ever developing a disease I had had enough. So I did what any good Californian would do, I paddled out and went surfing.
I thought of how lucky I was to be able to not only physically enjoy an hour of surfing but I didn’t have to feel guilty for doing so because I wasn't ditching out on work to do so. I am so blessed to be able to do what I love for (all be it a small one) a living. To live in a place that is truly beautiful and to have the freedom with my time to enjoy it is a gift.
The more I sat in the water the more my mind went back to where I had just come from and the people who don't have the option to leave. The people who even if they could leave the hospital, would not have the luxury of relaxing but would have to work even harder to pay off the hospital bills.
I even thought of those who would never get to the hospital in the first place because there are no such options where they live. People who never know they have cancer but just get sick and die. There are people who will never set foot in a hospital, not because of their fear of doctors but because there are no hospitals near them.
And that's when it came up again.
I have been having these tinges I guess you could say.
These desires that I dare not tell anyone but since no one reads this blog I can write them here.
I want to go and serve the poor.
Now please stop laughing and listen. I'm not talking for a year or even 6 months but I have a desire to go and push myself to see and help those who I would never meet. Those who never know the luxury of being inconvenienced by an MRI or a stack of insurance paper work. I can’t offer medical care, or plans to build an irrigation system, but I once made a 90 year old Croatian lady who didn’t speak English laugh so hard that she almost died, so I think that could be beneficial.
What good is it to stay and experience life in a comfortable bubble when there is such a great need for people to experience love and laughter? I swear I'm not turning into a hippie but in the past few years my travels that I look back at with the fondness memories have been spent with people in horrible situations who were in need of someone just to be with them. Someone who could be Christ to them if just by giving them supplies, a meal or a much needed smile.
I started thinking, where could I go? I have January and February open, so it’s going to be winter. I need to go tropical, I can't help people if I'm cold, I mean, I could...I would just prefer a tropical setting.
Which country could I go and experience and actually help others for a few months or weeks without hurting myself or them? There would definitely have to be monkeys wherever I go. Monkeys but no bugs. Monkeys, no bugs and Wi-Fi.
So you have been warned. The desire is there to serve my brothers and sisters who might not own more than one pair of shoes, understand what Tivo is or worry about the long term effects of aspartame. I know what I am suppose to do now is pray and listen.
When the opportunity presents itself, I will be ready to go.
That is as long as there are monkeys, Wi-Fi and no bugs.
I did however have the chance to think about how lucky I am to live where I do, when I do. To live in an age where at any minute I can be in contact with just about anybody I know. Through mobile phones, instant messages, blogs, Tweets and smoke signals we know just about everything about everyone as it happens. Got a suspicious mole? Google it.
A weird looking butterfly just bit you in the neck? There's an ap for that.
I had about 40 minutes or so to think about these things yesterday as I hung out (literally) in an MRI machine. As you may know my Mom, Dad and sister are all cancer survivors and since most of my dad's side did not survive all sorts of different types of cancer, every time I sneeze twice in a row I have to have some test done because it might be the "C" word.
Not only do we have MRI's to see if there is a lump, bump or a tumor but we even have blood tests (that I contributed to after the MRI) that test for mutations in genes...so living in this time with this kind of technology with my genes is pretty awesome.
After being subjected to two hours of tests that would tell me if I had a disease or even if I had a higher percentage of ever developing a disease I had had enough. So I did what any good Californian would do, I paddled out and went surfing.
I thought of how lucky I was to be able to not only physically enjoy an hour of surfing but I didn’t have to feel guilty for doing so because I wasn't ditching out on work to do so. I am so blessed to be able to do what I love for (all be it a small one) a living. To live in a place that is truly beautiful and to have the freedom with my time to enjoy it is a gift.
The more I sat in the water the more my mind went back to where I had just come from and the people who don't have the option to leave. The people who even if they could leave the hospital, would not have the luxury of relaxing but would have to work even harder to pay off the hospital bills.
I even thought of those who would never get to the hospital in the first place because there are no such options where they live. People who never know they have cancer but just get sick and die. There are people who will never set foot in a hospital, not because of their fear of doctors but because there are no hospitals near them.
And that's when it came up again.
I have been having these tinges I guess you could say.
These desires that I dare not tell anyone but since no one reads this blog I can write them here.
I want to go and serve the poor.
Now please stop laughing and listen. I'm not talking for a year or even 6 months but I have a desire to go and push myself to see and help those who I would never meet. Those who never know the luxury of being inconvenienced by an MRI or a stack of insurance paper work. I can’t offer medical care, or plans to build an irrigation system, but I once made a 90 year old Croatian lady who didn’t speak English laugh so hard that she almost died, so I think that could be beneficial.
What good is it to stay and experience life in a comfortable bubble when there is such a great need for people to experience love and laughter? I swear I'm not turning into a hippie but in the past few years my travels that I look back at with the fondness memories have been spent with people in horrible situations who were in need of someone just to be with them. Someone who could be Christ to them if just by giving them supplies, a meal or a much needed smile.
I started thinking, where could I go? I have January and February open, so it’s going to be winter. I need to go tropical, I can't help people if I'm cold, I mean, I could...I would just prefer a tropical setting.
Which country could I go and experience and actually help others for a few months or weeks without hurting myself or them? There would definitely have to be monkeys wherever I go. Monkeys but no bugs. Monkeys, no bugs and Wi-Fi.So you have been warned. The desire is there to serve my brothers and sisters who might not own more than one pair of shoes, understand what Tivo is or worry about the long term effects of aspartame. I know what I am suppose to do now is pray and listen.
When the opportunity presents itself, I will be ready to go.
That is as long as there are monkeys, Wi-Fi and no bugs.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Purdue University
Kyle, Judy, Fr. Patrick (aka Norm MacDonald) and Dan after a super fun, super successful show at Purdue University...I heart college shows.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
No Nay Never
I went running today and maybe it was for the last time. I went with my friend Katie who does not have the pain to brain connection. Let me explain, after I have been running for a few miles, or really, after I give a heads up to my body that I am thinking about running I feel pain. The pain from my body goes to my brain and in return my brain shuts my body down into a sad limping walk. My pain to brain connection is working. Katie's does not. As she sees me in the distance now walking she does things like run wind sprints up and down a hill till I get to her. Her pain to brain connection done broke! So running, I figured out yesterday is something I really don't enjoy. I've had a runners high maybe once but looking back it probably wasn't even runners high but the lingering effects of some Novocaine I received at a dental appointment. The benefits I receive from running do not outweigh the pain, therefore I think me and running are breaking up. I will still run on occasion. I feel running is very useful when dealing with stampeding elephants, or killer zombies. Also if I ever have to rescue orphans out of a burning building I will not saunter in but I will run. If I ever drink the water again in Mexico I will not skip to the bathroom but run; so you see running is not dead to me, we just decided to see other people.Since running and I have been in a rocky relationship over the past couple of months now is the time to admit that I have been seeing other exercises.
Mainly I have been swimming. Usually swimming is a very good low impact exercise...usually
But I have some Judy factors that make it not so. First of all I usually can not enter in the pool without my two lifeguards, Mac and Chewie following close behind. As dogs, they have no hands so when they see me swimming and assume I need "rescuing" they swim out to me and use their paws to "rescue me." Because their paws are accompanied by sharp claws what ensues is a kin to an underwater ballet knife fight. Evidence of my scarred arms and back, I have been "rescued" many times. Because of my over protective dogs I usually get about 2 laps in before it's just not worth it and I end up sitting on the steps. This 3-4 minute scene is not conducive to a cardio workout and is almost counter productive. If you ever have done any water sports you know that they make you hungry 
beyond belief because usually your body is burning thousands of calories but as I said the only ones burning calories are the dog-guards. So my consumption of Snickers bars before my swim is really hurting and not helping. Other factors include two nephews jumping in and out during lap swim and sometimes striking their target; which now really hurts since they are getting older and bigger. Riding on Auntie Judy's back while she swims is no longer fun for Auntie Judy and actually has come close to killing her several times. The lack of goggles and chlorine-trigger-happy pool man makes my eyes feel like I am in a constant dream sequence from Dallas. If I end up shooting J.R. I am going to be more than a little upset.In the end, I'll keep swimming until our Southern California weather turns cold. In the end, I love swimming more than running but refuse to get in the pool in severe dips when it gets down to 70, that's just plain nuts I'm no polar bear.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Hey Lady
Hey lady, your name on a piece of rice? No gracias.
Want a massage?
That was basically every conversation I had with anyone who tried to sell me anything while I was in Cabo San Lucas.
Apparently I looked stressed.
Everyone thought I was in need of a massage. From the guy selling "Roy-Bans" to the lady who wanted to braid my hair (actually she just wanted to braid my hair, she was very serious about beauty). I remember the good old days when buying Mexican fireworks or a whip was just that, there was no hidden agenda. After awhile it stressed me out, but I was not about to give in and get a massage. And its a good thing, I watch 20/20 and had the advice of my dad, "don't trust anyone." I was not about to let them win. I was vigilant for the rest of the trip. Like a ninja I avoided eye contact with all street vendors, small dogs and elderly tourists, all could have possibly offered me a deadly massage. So I'm home from vacation, tired and in desperate need of a massage.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Boom
Camp Pendleton is having war games. I hear the "sounds of freedom" whilst my dogs hear,"the world is coming to an end". Mac acts accordingly.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Steubenville San Diego
It was a great weekend at SDSU with over 4,000 Catholics, about 30 nuns and a hot comedian who looked like Sandra Bullock, I know it was weird, who knew there were two of us out there!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Conan
We are headed up to Universal today to attend a taping of the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. If you don't hear from me in 24 hours, I probably either
a) Died while waiting in line under the heat of 94 degree weather.
b) Was wisked away to stardom by a chance meeting with a Hollywood executive.
c) Or just forgot to update my blog.
Either way, fun times shall be had by all.
a) Died while waiting in line under the heat of 94 degree weather.
b) Was wisked away to stardom by a chance meeting with a Hollywood executive.
c) Or just forgot to update my blog.
Either way, fun times shall be had by all.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Ella
This is my new God-Niece, Ella and her momma Sarah. If you have not heard of the term God-Aunt before it's the melding of being a fake aunt and a non Godmother. A basic sad attempt to be in the kids life but never have to send a check.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
San Diego to Steubenville
In 14 hours I will be out the door and on the way to the airport for the second time this week. This time I'm headed to Steubenville, Ohio. I'm looking forward to perfect weather, drinkable water and thousands of Catholics all gathered in one place. One outta three won't be bad. Call the police if I'm not back by Sunday night.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Houston
Melting in Houston, Texas today. It seems that God forgot to turn off the oven here. Once again, San Diego wins. Usually I am in Texas every time I fly. Since Continental lands here no matter where you fly I'm often in the George Bush airport. It was weird to not just sit in the terminal for a few hours but to actually go outside, into the oven. I was just informed we are having a "cool down" because it's only going to be 99 today.
Now I'm heading over to the Hilton for the start of the Archdiocesan Youth Conference (AYC). It should be a good time if the AC stays on. I am looking forward to hanging out with Paul and Ennie my brothers from two different mothers who are also speaking this weekend. Then on Sunday we are heading out on the "Big Black Judy", a boat named after yours truly...pictures to soon follow.
Now I'm heading over to the Hilton for the start of the Archdiocesan Youth Conference (AYC). It should be a good time if the AC stays on. I am looking forward to hanging out with Paul and Ennie my brothers from two different mothers who are also speaking this weekend. Then on Sunday we are heading out on the "Big Black Judy", a boat named after yours truly...pictures to soon follow.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
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