Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Your Baby Goes to College.

My parents left Monday for a cruise. I brought them down to the boat myself, on piggyback. I made sure they got on and apparently they were on their second buffet by the time I made it to the freeway. Now if this was the 80’s and I was a member of the ‘Brat Pack’ we would have the making of an awesome movie. Unfortunately it’s 09/09/09 and the only people who want to film me is a government watch group who has me confused with the other Judy McDonald who is a country line dancer in Canada. Some day I hope to have a "Judy McDonald: get to know the other side of Judy" party. I would also invite the Realtor Judy McDonald, as well as the artist and the doctor. A good time will be had by all, except the mime Judy, she's kind of a jerk.

Life without the roommates has been productive so far, I’m almost caught up with my DVR and there is not one dirty dish in the sink (That’s cause I have buried all the dirty dishes in the backyard). I’m working smarter not harder.

Today while trying to fast-forward a commercial during what I thought was a DVR’d show I realized it was actually live television, I know, scary. Being too lazy to hit the guide button and not wanting to mess up my system I had down of checking the “last” button on the remote I gutted it out, I watched the commercial. I know, I am so brave. It was for a product called, “Your baby can read”

The concept is simple enough, a DVD/program that teaches your baby how to read, because obviously you have more important things to do. Babies are such a hassle! First you have to make them, carry them inside you for 9 months, deliver them, feed them, change them, burp them, love them and now you expect me to teach them how to read? Thank God for this DVD, I guess.

The part of the commercial I saw was a lady enthusiastically talking about her two year old that was already reading at a first grade level. I’m sorry, but really? In our current education system, that’s no big deal. I was also sad for this lady because what if this is it for her baby? What if she has peaked at two? What if it’s all down hill from here. Sure, it’s awesome now to read at a first grade level now, but not when she’s in high school. Hopefully her baby has something to fall back on. That’s why this Christmas I will be coming out with my own line of DVD’s entitled, “Your Baby Can Crotchet” and “Your Baby can Weld.”