Monday, January 03, 2005

An Open Letter to the Lady at the YMCA

Dear lady in my triple fat burner class,
You make me angry. I go to the class and stand in the back corner of the room. I am there to burn fat at three times the speed of sound. You on the other hand think it is your time to shine as an Olivia Newton John stunt double. Don't get me wrong, your headband and tight Lycra outfits are very pretty but you are distracting. Everyone else in the triple fat burner class listens to the nice instructor when she says, "basic right for two". We all go up with our right foot twice but not you. You climb up on your step and do a jump and a twist in the air while clapping. This move is great and you should be very proud of it, but you need to stop. You need to stop because I cannot concentrate on burning fat at three times the speed of sound when I want to smack you over the head. I am a nice Catholic girl but you are causing me to sin with these thoughts of causing you bodily harm.
Also, please stop hooting and screaming like you are watching the Chargers win the Super Bowl. We are at the YMCA, in Oceanside and we are not having fun, we are burning fat at three times the speed of sound. I do not mean to judge you, but please stay home next Monday night if you can't burn fat at three times the speed of sound like everyone else.

Thank you,

Judy McDonald